The Good
Grape
|
Pinot Noir
|
Year
|
Winery
|
Mark West
|
2014
|
Where
|
Acampo, California
|
Grade
|
Tasting Notes
|
Butter; wood stove; March winds; dead mouse; Lake Mille Lacs in summer three miles from shore.
|
9
|
Feel
|
Crescendo and evanesce. Don’t pair it with anything, just pay attention.
|
10
|
The Not Bad
Grape
|
Pinot Noir
|
Year
|
$10
|
Underwood
|
2015
|
Where
|
Oregon
|
Grade
|
Tasting Notes
|
Peppermint sticks on a Christmas tree put out with the trash; model airplane fuel; nitrous oxide in a dentist’s chair; sea breezes in Nassau, Bahamas, when slightly hungover.
|
7
|
Feel
|
Pop Rocks. Pair with Leeann Chin’s orange chicken.
|
5
|
Grape
|
Pinot Noir
|
Year
|
Winery
|
D’autrefois
|
2015
|
Where
|
France
|
Grade
|
Tasting Notes
|
Aluminum fishing boat stored upside-down in the woods when you first turn it over in the spring. That’s not a bad smell, but it’s earthy, wet, and metallic. Things scurry. Wine needs this smell to be wine, and not wine coolers.
|
8
|
Feel
|
Burning sensation of water up the nose, but on a pleasant sunny day at the beach.
|
6
|
The Ugly – but Open to Debate. These are just personal opinions after all.
Grape
|
Pinot Noir
|
Year
|
Winery
|
Le Grand (black sheep)
|
2015
|
Where
|
France
|
Grade
|
Tasting Notes
|
Shoe leather; skim milk; acid. Mostly nothingness. The perfect wine for Nihilists. Parmenides of Elea would say it does not exist. When the cops pull you over after several bottles, and ask how much you have had to drink, you can honestly say “nothing” and pass a lie-detector test. Maybe not a breathalyzer.
|
2
|
Feel
|
A mild electric tingling. Pair with nothing.
|
2
|